I want the owl on a shirt
The hilarious comedian Aamer Rahman’s talks about “Workshops for White People” during his Fear of a Brown Planet set.
"The title of this first workshop is called ‘Don’t Compliment Me On My English’."
Transcript between Jake Evans and 911 dispatch operator
911 Dispatch: Parker County 911, where is your emergency?
Jake Evans: Uh, my house.
911: What’s the emergency?
Evans: Uh, I just killed my mom and my sister.
911: What? How did you do that?
Evans: Uh, I shot them with a .22 revolver.
911: Are you sure they’re dead?
Evans: They’re dead.
911: Okay, I want you to stay on the phone with me. Are you alright?
Evans: Yeah, I’m alright. (The gun) is on the kitchen counter.
911: Jake, are you on any medication?
Evans: Uh, no. I’ve been going to the allergist, I’m on allergy medication. Other than Zyrtec and Advil and Pseudoephedrine, I don’t take anything else.
911: Is there any reason that you were so angry at your mother and your sister?
Evans: I don’t know. … It’s weird. I wasn’t even really angry with them. It just kind of happened. I’ve been kind of, uh, planning on, uh, killing for a while now.
911: The two of ‘em, or just anybody?
Evans: Pretty much anybody.
Evans: I don’t know. I don’t really like, uh, people’s, uh, attitude. … I think it’s kind of, very, like, you know, emotional. They’re verbally rude to each other and stuff like that. I don’t know. It’s just my family is just kind of really I guess this is really selfish to say, but I felt they were just suffocating me in a way. I don’t know, I’m pretty, I guess, evil…Whatever, I’m sorry.
911: Were your mom and sister in their beds?
Evans: I don’t know. This is going to really mess me up in the future. I told my sister that my mom needed her. She was in her room, and she came out of her room, and I shot her. And she rolled down the stairs and I shot her again. And then I went down and I shot my mom maybe three or four times, but I’ll never forget this. My sister, she came downstairs and she was screaming and I was telling her that I’m sorry but just to hold still – that, you know, I was just going to make it go away. But she kept on freaking out, but she finally fell down and I shot her in the head about, probably, three or four times.
911: Are you in the kitchen?
911: Where’s your dad?
Evans: He’s out of town. Washington, D.C. And, uh, I guess for future reference, I don’t really want to see any of my family members, like visiting or whatever. I just don’t want any type of visitors.
911: You don’t want to hurt yourself, do you?
Evans: Just to let you know, I hate the feeling of killing someone. (Sighs) I’m going to be messed up.
911: You just take a deep breath. We have deputies coming, and they’re going to help you. Just to let you know, we’re going to help you, we’re not going to hurt you.
Evans: I understand if ya’ll want to.
911: No, we’re there to help you, Jake. Everybody thinks we want to do bad things, but right or wrong, we want to help people, and we’re gonna help you. Do you understand that, Jake?
911: Is it a gated community? Is there a gate?
Evans: Uh, yes. You want the password? (He gives her the password)
911: It’s going to be alright, it really is. They’ll be there shortly, won’t be long now. Jake, would you mind turning any of the porch lights on?
Evans: I have turned the front lights on. (pauses) I was thinking of my sister. She was 15.
911: How long ago did (the shootings) happen?
Evans: About, uh, 30 minutes ago. (breathes heavily)
911: You’ll be alright, Jake.
Evans: I’m really worried about, like, nightmares and stuff like that. Are there any times of medications, and stuff?
911: Well, I think there is. I don’t know, I’m not a doctor but … I’m sure your family will get you the support you need.
Evans: I don’t mean to sound like a wimp or anything, but this is, wow, I’ve never, like, done anything violent in my whole life.
911: You don’t sound like a violent person. But um, help will be provided for you. Medical and psychological. That will be provided, so you don’t have to worry about that right now. Take deep breaths for me now, you’re doing fine. In through your nose, and out through your mouth so you don’t hyperventilate, okay?
911: Good, you sound a lot calmer right now.
Evans: I didn’t want them to feel pain, that’s why I used a gun, but it’s like everything went wrong.
911: Jake, my officers are almost there, would you be willing to walk out on your own?
Evans: Um, yes, I forgot to say before I called, I put the gun on the counter, it’s still loaded.
911: Okay, that’s fine. I’ll stay on the phone until it’s time for you to walk out. Are you on your home phone? Is it cordless?
911: Jake, what I want you do to is walk outside, but when you’re walking outside, stay visible, don’t walk behind any furniture. When you open the front door, put your hands up in the air, just walk very slowly, and walk outside, and keep your hands visible, alright, sweetie? I’ll talk to you later.
Evans: Thank you (puts phone down)
911: You’re welcome.
This gives me chills everytime.
Fast food workers “occupying” Wall Street. #imlovinit
If you can’t fucking survive on fucking $7.25 go to fucking school and get another fucking job. Those people who run the fucking restaurants and shops who fucking give out minimum fucking wage need to make a fucking profit too. Get off your lazy fucking ass and make way for the fucking high school students and college students who fucking need that job that pays $7.25.
Funny thing: the workers who are stuck in minimum wage jobs (many of whom have degrees… and huge amounts of debt racked up getting them, because of the myth that going to school is THE path to a high-paying job) are also the biggest single customer base for these sorts of corporations, and most other ones.
You know the thing that’s really going to imperil corporate profits?
The way they pay their workers.
The news keeps saying things about “consumer confidence” being low. Supposedly, it’s low “confidence” that is depressing sales of big ticket items like homes and cars, and if the current trends continue, it’s taking bites out of things like… eating out. Going to the movies. And other things that drive the minimum wage sectors of the economy.
Funny thing: people have to have money to spend money. Right now, most revenue goes straight into the accounts of the major stakeholders in the company. What does it there? It… accrues. It… adds up. What doesn’t it do? It doesn’t circulate. It doesn’t get spent. It doesn’t do anyone any good.
If you gave everyone working at McDonald’s another dollar an hour out of the profits that are currently just being pocketed, those dollars… well, they’d be spent. Almost immediately. And in the end, they’d probably end up being stuck in some millionaire’s low risk, steady return, not-at-all entrepreneurial portfolio, which is where most money ends up.
But just by the magic passing through more hands before it comes to rest, those same dollars would each be spent several more times. MAGIC, right? Same dollar, getting spent again and again and again. And every time, someone benefits. In effect, every time, everyone benefits.
When money goes to the top, it stops moving. Money that isn’t moving isn’t really money any more. It’s as useless as the high score of a video game.
This is why the places in the world—even just in this country—with the best minimum wage and the best social safety nets also have the lowest unemployment, and why unemployment grows or stays stable the more we “tighten belts”. This is just how the world works. This is how the world has always worked. If conservatives would give up their fairy tale fantasyland logic and join the rest of us in the real world, we could have the economy on its feet in no time.
And you are living in a fantasy land. You are. What jobs? What jobs are these people supposed to get? If they had no job, you would tell them “McDonald’s is always hiring.” and act like that’s an answer. Well, they’re working at McDonald’s. And they had to beat ten applicants to get those jobs, because only in your magical fantasy land does “always hiring” mean “has enough job openings to magically accommodate everybody who applies”. Your logic literally requires magic to work.
What are you doing with your life? What are you doing that is so noble and great an endeavor that you can tell people who bust their backs to do a job you probably couldn’t do and definitely wouldn’t want to that they’re lazy for working for $7.25. Would you take $7.25 an hour to do what they do? No? Then they’re being underpaid. The invisible hand of the free market is apparently taking a vacation.
Let me tell you how things work in the real world. In the real world *everyone has to* make a living wage. Has to. If businesses aren’t paying living wages, then they should inevitably go under since no one could afford to work for them. Fortunately or unfortunately, the economy… like an ecology… is all interconnected. So instead of these businesses suffering alone for what should be a fatal decision on their part, they drag everyone else down with them in a slow death spiral that poisons the whole economy.
See, if these business owners aren’t paying their employees a living wage but they’re not going out of business, then their incompetence or greed (pick one, or both) is being subsidized by everyone else. Their incompetence or greed is being paid for by everyone who pays ABOVE a minimum wage so that their employees can afford to eat out and shop and see movies, and by everybody who pays the taxes that go to the public assistance programs that allow their employees to keep scraping by.
Of course, the employees themselves are bearing the brunt of the death spiral, because they’re trapped between an immovable object—a job that against all real-world logic expects full time employees to accept wages that won’t get them through the week—and an inexorable force—the fact that human beings have basic needs that require more money than they’re getting to meet.
Since we actually do live in the real world, it’s inevitable that a system that is unsustainable will fall apart, and this one will… it will reach a breaking point where we’ll either have to acknowledge the problem and fix it, or… well, it will just break. It would be better to fix it sooner rather than later, especially since there are actual people being literally worked to death while smug jerks like you who don’t understand how the world works and who wouldn’t be able to do what they do lecture them about how their plight is somehow their fault.
#i’m obsessed with your face you calculating #shrewd #son of a bitch #your eyes are bright and tender and you mourn the loss of your sister beside you #but make no mistake that these hands were bred to kill #with grace or without his fingers are still graceful when they tinker with the mechanics of war #he was a legend in heaven for a reason #and by naomi’s take #long before the civil war with raphael too#Castiel has always been a kink in the system #and his shard stalling your cogs#he is a shard caught in your cogs #and he will fuck your shit up (via dirtyovercoats)
When I wake up I’m afraid
Somebody else might end up being me
If you ask me, I don’t think Destiel is actually going to become Canon.
AND THE AWARD FOR BEST USE OF A GIF IN THE HISTORY OF TUMBLR GOES TO ^^^
I CAN’T SCROLL PAST WITHOUT REBLOGGING
Story time, kids:
This is the picture I had J2 sign for me at the autograph session. I went to get Jensen’s autograph first. He looked at the picture, started blushing and looked up at me. He was like “oh my god where did you find this?” and I told him it was all online, and I mentioned the Boy Scouts uniform picture, and a picture with him in a Texas sweatshirt which made him start to blush. He said that he was around 16 in that picture and then looked at Jared and did the full-body, head-tossed-behind laugh and asked me, “is that Jared?” When I said yes, he chuckled and went “what a nerd!” at which point Clif came out and saw the picture, and told us he first thought it was some Japanese kid. I brought up my phone case at that point too, which is another story but basically had Jensen holding my phone and me explaining what was going on. After he signed it and I picked it up, he told me to tell Jared that “Clif and I are wondering who the Asian kid is”. By this time I’m laughing my ass off, and I told him I’d do so. Regretfully, I had to leave and Jensen smiled and said bye <3
Next up was the Jared autograph session. Right before my turn, Clif walked over and saw me, and gave me a wink and grinned. Jared looked over at the picture then, and his reaction was priceless. His eyes went wide, his mouth dropped open into an O-shape and he banged the table with his fist a couple of times and he was like “oh my GOD IS THAT ME? WHERE DID YOU FIND THIS?” to which I said the same thing I told Jensen- “everything’s online”. Clif started to make fun of Jared then, at which point Jared started to laugh (which is when I brought up my phone case again, and Jared said it was adorable). When he was signing, I was like “hey you still look really good in that picture”, to which he made the I’m-awesome-and-I-can’t-help-it pout and shrugged and went “well you know…” and then smiled at me (dimplesssss) and said bye.
Tl;dr: it was the BEST experience of my life. The two of them and Clif are absolutely perfect
okay woWIE YOU GUYS REALLY NEED TO WATCH THIS BECAUSE PANTENE DID A COMMERCIAL ABOUT HOW SHIT LABELS AGAINST WOMEN ARE AND ITS JUST SO GREAT WOWIE
THIS HURT ME MORE THAN I WAS EXPECTING…
He like his fucking guardian
wait a minute
this means Kevin is in heaven
with some knowledge of the angel tablet
KEVIN YOU BETTER FUCK METATRON UP
YES. Kevin Tran, you fight your way back through Heaven.
You and Bobby.
are ellen and jo in heaven cos i think they should get in on this
I’d just like to add that Pam should also be a part of this
VIVA LA REVOLUTION
please watch this
"you don’t have to do that,"
"yes I do."
zero hesitation. damn.